Hide`s mourning farewell ceremony ended on May 7th. It was attended by about thirty thousand people. Tsukiji Hongan-ji temple neighborhoods were filled with people to preserve order more than three thousand policemen and members of self-defense forces were involved and Patrol boats were cruised along the Sumida River.
These days theme of death and burial of the artist at the zenith of fame has been the main topic in the media and the general grief of youth has shocked even the older generation, who knew little about the band X itself.
Why has the death of Hide made a huge impression on young people?
How did his music, the music of X win the hearts of many people?
The bitter irony was that it was the death of Hide that showed all the enormous energy and tremendous force of the impact of the group X.
On returning after a cremation, Yoshiki did not stop thinking about the fans who continued to mourn Hide. Maybe some of them think about committing suicide? Not wanting to remain in this world, to follow Hide's soul to another world?
Yoshiki, who lost his sleep after arriving in Japan, could not stop thinking about it.
On May 8th a late night radio show was held in memory of Hide, in which Yoshiki participated as a guest. The reporter was Shoji Noriko, who starting with Yoshiki knew all the members of X closely for a long time, kept the broadcast devoted to the individuality of Hide. During live transmission Yoshiki tried to speak in a distinct, clear voice.
- "There is no doubt that the death of Hide was an accident. That is why we should not give way to despair. Hide lives in my heart and so I want to pay last tributes peacefully. All I ask of the fans is to do the same. "
At this show Yoshiki told some funny things related to Hide.
He told the funny stories as if Hide was sitting next to him.
- "As a child, Hide was plump, really, very fat. Although by the time he began to play in the band he had lost weight but he was very afraid of getting fat again. In times of X, when he felt that he overate, he immediately went to the toilet to vomit. I was sorry to see him so upset and I used to say: "Let me also do it with you."
In these series of busy days, there were many different cases and each of them allowed Yoshiki to become the way he was today. He never doubted this for a minute .
However, this night Yoshiki could not give rest for his exhausted body. Only during the funeral ceremony he received the news from staff that two young musicians, hurrying to the funeral of Hide were killed in a car accident. The musicians of this group had always loved X. At that time they worked in Osaka and upon learning the tragic news they immediately rushed by car to Tokyo. On their way to Tokyo they had an accident and died.
Stricken to the innermost of his heart, Yoshiki immediately asked to send wreaths for their funerals and the next day after the ceremony at Hongan-ji Yoshiki, along with several managers and bodyguard Ito went to visit their families who lived in Vadzima on the Noto Peninsula in Kyoto.
Families and friends of the deceased never expected the arrival of Yoshiki. They bowed low to him and thanked sincerely for his concern.
When Yoshiki returned home he kept on thinking about the words that many musicians said during the funeral of Hide. Looking with tearful eyes, they kept on saying:
-“We have to do a memorial concert of Hide!
We definitely want to take part in this concert. “
After the funeral, Yoshiki gathered over 400 musicians in Shibuya to commemorate Hide and just at that time once again the question about the memorial concert had been raised.
Pain of losing beloved friend and respected artist united all those associated with rock music. Naturally the idea of gathering all musicians that worked with Hide on one stage came into existence, to leave the inextinguishable memory of him in every heart.
"The only person who can implement this plan is Yoshiki-san. Let's hold memorial! "
Friends, the younger comrades, members of record companies, friends correspondents - all of them subscribed to this opinion. To cope with the shock after the death of Hide, it seemed the most proper thing was to arrange such a concert.
Yoshiki also shared that feeling. In comments to the press, he announced what he thought about the possibility of holding a memorial concert.
Remembering the 50,000 fans at the gate of the temple Hongan-ji, their mournful cries, Yoshiki asked himself what he could do for all these people. If there is any way to ease the pain of fans somehow, that will be music, above all.
Losing sleep and almost falling under the weight of this tragedy Yoshiki completely lost the ability to take care of himself, but if it was possible to do something for Hide, for fans and friends - he would be ready to give all his strength.
So he decided to use all his energy in order to hold the memorial concert on the first anniversary of hide's death.
There was another person with whom it was necessary for Yoshiki to meet, It was Taiji, who suddenly appeared during the ceremony.
Having left X after three Tokyo Dome concerts which took place from 5th to 7th of January 1992 he became a completely different person.
After leaving X,Taiji joined the group LOUDNESS as a bassist but after a year he left it also. Then he organized a band called D.T.R which began to work actively as major group. In the end he stopped working there as well (the group resumed its activity in July 2006).
After that he stopped communicating with formerly close friends and completely left the musical world. He divorced his wife, left home, taking with him only his guitar and the most necessary things and became a tramp. At first he lived in hotels and cheap guesthouses, then when money came to an end he had to sleep in Ueno Park.
This life lasted for about two years, later with the help of the family he was able to rent an apartment, but he could not return to his previous life so soon.
Lost the sense of reality of the existence, as if driven by thoughts of his death, Taiji was drowning himself in alcohol and was often involved in brawls.
These days, lost in thoughts about his death, Taiji heard the tragic news of Hide.
Of course neither Yoshiki nor other members of the group had an idea about his terrible plight.
During the funeral answering the question: "How are you?" Taiji just waved his hand: "Ah". It was absolutely impossible to recognize in this man the once passionate and proud Taiji of X times, with a sharp, like challenging someone, look.
Dressed in mourning clothes obviously off somebody’s back, he`d lost weight, like a sick man. With sunken eyes and an unsteady gait, Taiji, who was just 31 years old but looked ten or even twenty years older. It was amazing how much his face had changed. Chin was twisted, four front teeth were broken. The reason was one of the fights in the quarters of Shibuya, where he was severely beaten.
This man with a broken jaw and broken teeth seemed to have nothing to do with the brilliant and stylish bassist Taiji.
Undoubtedly, the group leader Yoshiki forced Taiji to leave X. The 1st of January 1992 at 5 am, he called the bass player and announced:
- "That's it. You're fired from today. "
In a rage, Taiji threw harsh words in his face, but Yoshiki remained firm. Whatever he would have spoke about, he was not going to change his mind.
Joining the group, Taiji immediately became a source of controversy and Yoshiki had to oppose him. He constantly provoked conflict, criticizing others, and even Hide had repeatedly tried to stop him. The deepest contradiction he had was with Yoshiki, but the group needed Taiji's bass.
The main reason that Yoshiki decided to part with Taiji was the fact that he easily broke the oath, which they exchanged and Yoshiki just could not forgive this.
Once in Tokyo Dome three concerts from 5th to 7th of January had passed, Taiji left the group and had not been seen since then.
On meeting Taiji again at the funeral, Yoshiki was shocked at the sight of the exhausted, like an old man, former bass player. It seemed impossible that he himself could be able to change that much. When he thought about the fate of Taiji after leaving the group he became sick at heart.
Right after the funeral Yoshiki was contacted by one of their common friends.
- "Yoshiki-san, if you do not mind meeting Taiji-san, he asked me to give a phone number, please call."
Yoshiki immediately remembered changed Taiji.
Emaciated figure.
Toothless mouth.
Trembling hands.
Without hesitation, he immediately dialed the number.
- "Taiji, this is Yoshiki, if you want to meet, come."
A few days later Taiji appeared in the hotel cafe which was mentioned, he looked even worse than the last time. Without mourning clothes, he seemed even thinner.
Yoshiki handed him prepared envelope and started a conversation without further preliminaries.
- "First of all, do the dental work.”
There were 2 million yen in an envelope. Taiji briefly glanced at the envelope and could not hide the astonished expression of his face. Knowing the stubborn nature of the bassist Yoshiki thought that he could refuse and went on with great urgency:
- "I cannot say that I understand you. I have never been beaten and lost teeth, but hold out, Taiji! What a pity that we'll never meet with Hide anymore. "
After these words Taiji could not refuse.
- "First of all, do some dental work. Then come at the 49th day to commemorate Hide. See you. "
Taiji silently took the envelope.
Having left his seat already Yoshiki several times looked back at Taiji, wondering how quickly time had passed.
A few days after the funeral wherever he was, whether at home or in the car - Yoshiki, looking out of the window, every time could not help but try to catch sight of Hide.
He could not resist this, even though he spent many long nights mourning the death of his friend.
Every time in case of problems or even small difficulties, Yoshiki always asked Hide for advice. Still there was no time that he received no answer.
However, after returning to Japan on May 3 Yoshiki has never been able to talk to him. Although Hide's voice always sounded in Yoshiki's ears, it didn't answer any questions. This indescribable feeling of losing something important filled his heart with sorrow. Looking at himself he thought that if suddenly to leave that tireless, fast-moving life that he led until now, if to exist without moving and thinking, then maybe this would bring solace to his soul.
What do I do now?
The more you try to understand the reality of death, the more you are overwhelmed with thoughts about Hide.
But in reality the words: "Let us accept the death of Hide and watch over his eternal sleep warmly ", uttered as the leader of X at the day of the funeral to the fans and young musicians have been pronounced by him.
What an empty advice!
Like the coming off of skin inflamed after a burn, so the soul of Yoshiki purified from a variety of emotions. It seemed that his heart was split into two parts.
Not yet understanding the true value of the loss of a loved friend, he waited and waited for a response from Hide, who will never be able to answer.
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